Lucky number seven

Okay so the day started off well. I was amazingly calm - neither excited nor dreadful (and I am usually one or the other). Deep down I was worried they go in and find no eggs but at the same time I guess I realized that was unlikely to happen. Our trip was uneventful but on a side note, the highways are littered full of police doing speed and seat belt checks so we left in plenty of time to avoid the need for speed (and ugh it seemed like we were driving so slowww).

Walked into a very quiet office just a few minutes before 8. Sat for just a few minutes and Tammi got us and sent us off into the recovery room. Had a few good laughs along the way. Like she showed me my pink flannel nightgown and the beige scrubs for Randy. So after she leaves and I am stuffing all my junk into the locker, Randy looks at me and says "so I wonder what they'd do if I put on the pink nightie and you wore the scrubs?" ROFL, he always finds a way to relieve the tension and that sure as heck did it. Oh we chuckled for a while over the visual. Anyhow, Dr H arrived shortly thereafter and did the normal chit chat - when was my last food/drink, how was I feeling, how was Jessica's grad (to which I replied great - put a woman doped up on hormones at her daughters preschool grad and imagine the tears LOL). Then he gave me my acu and I just dozed in and out for the next 30+ minutes.

So then it was 'time'. That was when I started to feel my heart race a little. Robert had an intern working with him, Leigh was my nurse and apparently there was a doctor working with Dr H as well (who I previously said was the intern with Robert but I was wrong - blame the drugs!). And my fav person of course Tammi who was watching my vitals and in charge of the fentanyl. Dr H literally had to slap the crap out of my hand to get a vein to stand up enough for him to get the IV in. Had another good chuckle over that after I complained about the abuse I am always getting there (I said jokingly of course). Then came the good stuff. At first I felt nothing so I got a second dose and whoooosh, I was all light and fluffy not caring about the indecency bared for the whole room of spectators to see. Oh back track here, Dr H told us when we first went into the procedure room that he was doing a different ER today - a flush. Basically they flush out each follicle to make sure no eggs have stuck in there. There is an added risk of damage to the eggs, reaction to the medium they use to flush and risk of infection. I trust him so just nodded not realizing how valuable this would actually be.

Okay yes, back to my friend Fentanyl. Truly love this stuff - you're awake but don't give a crap about anything. There were times I could feel some minor pain but honestly I knew it hurt but I didn't care. Does that make sense? I guess I was pretty doped. Tammi twice had to nudge me into breathing. I was but my oxygen was low because I was 'that' relaxed. At first it was pretty nerve wracking because I swear we were at the count of one for what seemed like forever. Um talk about stress (yet I was too busy enjoying nothing to really worry). I kept trying to watch the ultrasound screen but couldn't focus. I could hear Robert say 'got an egg' or 'granulosa cells'. Now what I found out later was that when he said granulosa cells it meant that they would then flush that fluid medium through that follicle. Those cells come off a developing egg hence the need for going back in (well he would hold the catheter in there until getting word from the lab). So Dr H would tell her (Leigh I guess) 2 cc's (or whatever) of fluid and she would push it through this special catheter that they used. This happened 3 times (I think?, its getting blurry now). Because of them doing this extra step today we ended up with 7 eggs out of 7 follicles which is great! My goal was 8 eggs and Randy said 5 so we are both happy with that number and Dr H seemed pleased with it as well.

Remember last time, there was a very solemn mood at the clinic after my ER. Maybe it was just that day or perhaps it was the overwhelming disappointment with my ER. I can only compare the mood today vs last time and there was a big difference so my ever scrutinizing mind has to think positive and believe that means better eggies for better embies.

We had a nice long chat with Robert while in recovery, he really explained how everything goes. Basically this afternoon they will strip the cells off the eggs and perform ISCI. Well before that they send Randy's troops to the carnival for a spin on the gravitron ride. The best sperm stay at the bottom and everyone else floats to the top (or vice versa). They then hand pick the best, break their tails (something about polarity comes into play here - I am not an embryologist so go look it up if you really care LOL) and inject one little guy into each egg. We got the impression that we may end up with 5 mature but no guarantees. 3 were "smaller" but until those cells are stripped they really wouldn't know. I think 80% was mentioned which would be 5.6 eggs therefore I am hoping for 5. However is only 50% fertilize again then we will probably still end up with only 2 to transfer....well 2.5 but I'd prefer a WHOLE embryo ;)

Hmm what else to remember. Oh just as Randy was off with his cup I started to get dressed and wouldn't you know it, Dr H walks in . I know, I know, he has seen it all but still...I was red from head to toe. Then as Randy was getting changed from the scrubs, doesn't Leigh walk in and poke her head around the corner just as his pants are around his ankles. Oh yes indeed, it was an interesting day.

Overall today went very well. I hate to say it for fear of jinxing myself but I am feeling positive tonight. Terrified to let myself even think about the possibility of embryos to 'choose' from (vs. this is whats left, insert and see ya in 2 weeks). I have a lot to keep my mind busy. Very bloated and swollen tonight, waves of extreme dizziness (whoa) and the impending departure of Jessica flying to Regina tomorrow with K&M. What the heck was I thinking letting my 4 year old leave me for 4 days. Ugh. She is so excited and I am just full of heartbreak. I know she'll be just fine being the princess of the family for the weekend but OMG, does that break my heart at the same time.

So now the clock slows down. In about 12 hours I will be hearing the fate of my future kids. I know most women don't like to think that far ahead but I can't help myself. Every loss along the way is a real loss to me. I am praying I hear good news. Please let me hear good news or this weekend is going to be excruciating.