Or did it ever end? I can feel the OCD side of me starting to kick in today. It really started with a horrible dream last night. I don't recall the entire dream but the gist of it was I had to die - not sure why but I had 2 choices. Get a giant knife across my throat (like those martial arts sword type knives) or I could take these 5 pills and it would be almost instant. Well I chose the pills of course but then I didn't die. I was all paralyzed and twisted. And I could barely move my mouth to talk but was asking the person why am I not dead yet? And he/she said because you took the easy way out, you have to suffer until the pills really kick in. And I started crying and thinking about missing out on Jessica's life...at which time I woke up bawling my eyes out.
Freaking nice dream. Interpret that as you will it really just freakin sucked.
I am officially obsessing over the next 2 weeks already. I shouldn't be so I've been told. But I can't stop thinking that there will be no good eggs retrieved on Thursday and that there will be no ET on Sunday. I really really want to stay positive but I am neither excited nor distraught. Totally numb. I should be so excited but I'm not. It's an odd feeling and I question whether it's a sixth sense or just my usual insanity.
It's going to be a long haul from here on out......