I tested Sunday morning and got an ever so slight line on the FRER. Decided to hold my pee for a few hours and test again before I said anything to Ran. Well after 3+ hours I tested again - another faint line. Tested on another brand and got a positive, pulled out a digital and it said PREGNANT! I was flipping out because I was so sure that AF was around the corner. I didn't tell him right away. Convinced him to drive halfway across the city to go get Chinese food for us for dinner and while he was gone I made up a little fortune that said 'December Daddy 2007' and one for Jess that said Big Sister 2007. He didn't get it at first (thought it was an expiry date actually LOL) and then he saw my expression and whispered 'did you test positive?' I nodded and he said 'really'? He too was convinced it didn't work. Then I ran and grabbed the digital test and we were all floating on cloud 9 for the rest of Sunday night. Jessica even said blessings for her new baby brother or sister when she said her bedtime prayers.
So this morning I get up, and POAS so we can see a darker line. Nothing on a FR. Grabbed an IC - nothing, grabbed another digital and this time it said NOT pregnant. When I saw those words pop up I literally felt like someone punched me square in the chest. I called the clinic before 9 and left Tami a message explaining and she called me back around 930 and said I could go ahead and go get my beta a day early. I came home this afternoon, tested again - another negative so I knew the writing was on the wall.
Well Dr. Hudson just called. He was confused as to why I went in a day early and was worried that I was spotting or something so I explained everything. Well my beta is only 12 which is so low...they like to see at least 20. He said possibly an early miscarriage but we can't say that for sure until another beta on Wednesday. I am not holding my breath because those tests wouldn't have picked up hcg of 12 yesterday which means my numbers are dropping. He felt so bad, I made it through without crying though...I just hate the thought of making him feel any worse than he already feels for all of us when our cycles fail. He was so disappointed and just kept saying how sorry he was.