:(

My dad passed away last night. Sigh....

Ba-Bye

One more lb gone. 14 to go.

Gawd just ovulate already

Sheesh x 1000000000. I have been due to ovulate for days now. Actually now my ovaries are messing with my June schedule because if I don't ovulate soon, then the whole month will be screwed up. Just pop and egg already so we can get on with the month.

Okay edited to add that I just got a + on my OPK. Not the perfect + but I am going to say it's officially a surge. Woo-friggin-hoo. Now just pop an egg - no need to wait the obligatory 36 hrs either.

Oye

Well Dr. Hudson faxed in all my prescriptions to Mark today. He called while I was at preschool so I just dropped Jess off with Randy and stopped in there before my consult with Sandra's Ink (to get my ankle tattoo fixed - bummer, she cant get it done until August).

Anyhow Mark is on the ball as usual and had the list all printed up. Drum roll please...

Gonal-F 300 pen x 8
HCG 10000 x 1
Menopur 75 unit x 40
Prometrium 100mg x 200
Doxycycline 100mg x 10
Estrace 2mg tab x 40
Cetrotide .25 x 4
Femara 2.5mg x 10

Holy crap that's over $4700 bucks worth of meds . I am absolutely FREAKING out because we owe K&M so much now and I have no idea how we can ever pay it off. I mean we will find a way, maybe when we re-mortgage the house next year, I don't know but we will find a way. And it is all worth it if we end up with a beautiful little baby or two in the end.

Michele called me right as I was at the pharmacy and offered to take Jess to Regina in June so that Randy can stay home and so that we don't need to worry about our schedules. I was shocked as Randy and I have actually discussed this but then said nahh way too much to ask of anyone (especially them, they have done enough KWIM?). Then I chatted with Jess about it and she totally started crying...I wasn't sure what to think. Then we got home, talked it over and she decided yes she wants to go with auntie Michele. So now I have to pretend that I am not sad to have her gone for 4 days. I mean that has never happened before, That umbilical cord is barely hanging by a thread as it is :( I know they will take wonderful care of her and she will be doted on 24/7 but it's me I am feeling sorry for. *sigh* Oh and just picture me all doped up on hormones having to say goodbye at the airport. Ugh not a pretty scene (actually might be best to say goodbye elsewhere rather than the airport...).

Great day in Victoria!

Well yesterdays visit to Victoria was great! I had my first acu with Stephanie - very relaxing. I actually fell asleep while the needles and electrodes were on my back (accompanied with my funky new lines from sleeping on my face mid-day). She wants me to come back twice a week up until I start stims and then I would come at 'least' twice a week, coinciding with my visits to VFC. Next visit she will work on my sinuses as well as my fertility spots and she also said she has some spots for all the emotions (okay so on the original form I filled out, I checked off almost all the emotions that it listed under 'have you experienced in the past 3 months...'). Hey whatever works right? I mean my next cycle will be starting in like 2 weeks. Holy crap batman.

So once done with acu we were off to see Dr Hudson. With a little elevated pitter patter of my heart rate we were off (thank you Stephanie for telling us to just follow Quadra - how convenient!). Amazing how old worries pop up all over again. I keep thinking what if he looks and finds no follies? What if I have cysts that just don't want to leave? We sat for almost 45 minutes while I pretended to be calm and read magazines - not complaining, I don't expect appointments to run on-time there. I mean, most ovaries that I know of don't have clocks so you have to be flexible. We were the last appointment of the day because failed IVF and miscarriages are always last so that he has time to speak to you as well as there are probably a lot of tears shed during some of these appointments.

So once we went in to see him we sat down and he asked how we were doing etc and said he really wanted to do a scan before anything else so off for a date with the DC. So to the exam room. You know the routine.... short on, everything else off, cover with flimsy sheet, giggle with husband because you're nervous...the fun goes on. First he did a quick check of my cervix - said it looks healthy. Then for the funniest IVF moment ever. As he is getting ready to use the ultrasound wand (aka the dildo cam) he is chatting with Randy about the university courses he is taking. Okay understand this is going on simultaneously while prepping the wand. Then he said to me 'are you ready?' (nod) and inserts the u/s and at that moment he says "do you like it?". I almost burst out laughing at that point. I couldn't even look at Randy or I would have cracked. Now folks realize he was asking RANDY if he liked his courses however in some sick, perverted, nervous minds, it sounded like he was talking to me. I didn't think Randy even caught it but when Dr H left the room he just started giggling. He most definitely had caught it.

Anyhow, I digress. The good news - ovaries look fine (about to ovulate), lining is fine (no leftover tissue) and we are all set to go. My body has had an amazing recovery if you ask me. So off we went to discuss our next protocol. He thinks timing wise we should be fine in June. He said we could always freeze sperm if we needed to but that would mean Randy would not be there for ER and I am NOT comfortable with that at all. Again it all depends on this cycle ending ON TIME. Ya I know, who am I kidding? I need to pop an egg by Friday to be on time and so far, no LH surge yet on the OPKs which isn't a good sign. He did say I was about to ovulate but he didn't say how soon. The follies I saw on screen were huge so it's got to be soon (please be soon, please be soon).

And so we begin the next leg of this craziness....

Another one bites the dust

One more lb gone, total 8 lbs lost. 15 to go for healthy bmi.

Feeling green

Yuck I hate being sick. Not that I think anyone likes being sick, I just think I hate it that much more.

Nicole emailed me Friday and told me that little Avril had come down with the flu so be prepared...and I was - I watched Jess like a hawk. Yes well Jess is fine but mama here started getting weird cramps yesterday. Heh, for a moment I actually thought I was ovulating early (couldn't be that lucky). I was fine until dinner time when I really started feeling my 'guts' rocking too and fro. I still ate dinner and being the die-hard vitamin fan that I am, took all my supplements shortly thereafter. Well suffice it to say that this was not the smartest Stina move of the century. I wasn't vomiting but everything else that accompanies a stomach flu was hitting me about every 10 minutes - I will spare y'all the gory details. But alas I did sleep last night. That was until 5:52am. Yes right in the middle of a dream where DR. H was telling me about my new protocol I awoke to those rumblings again. Ran as fast as I could to the bathroom. This is when I started to get dizzy, spiked a massive fever and felt the nausea kick in. I had to yell at Jessica down the hall to go and get daddy because I was sure I was going to pass out. OMG worst hour of sickness I have felt but after that I managed to lie down and start burning off the poison. I slept on and off until 9 and started to recoup from there. Once I took an Imodium I was way better and even managed to eat some toast.

But I am beat - had so much to do this weekend and got hardly anything done. Thank god for my work-a-holic husband as he went out and cleaned all the barns for me and also built the last 2 flower beds that needed to be done. So I dragged my butt outside this afternoon and planted my Mother's Day hostas and watered the rest of the beds. Now I am looking at the floor and trying to psych myself into sweeping and mopping. So far I am failing LOL but if I get another burst of post-flu energy I will get off my butt and clean my house, promise.