Friday, July 6, 2007

As expected

BFN. I can't seem to stop crying though. I totally expected this yet I am just devastated. I just want to give Jessica a baby brother or sister, is that so bad? Why can't my body do this one thing for her?

We were having lunch today at the mall and Jess was all excited about staying overnight at Auntie Michele's. They just got a new spa/hot tub so she is really excited about getting to go in. Then she said mom, you can't go in because of the babies in your tummy. I said oh hun, I think we made a mistake there are no babies in mama's tummy. And poor Jess wells up with tears and says you told me there were, I was going to be a big sister. I said I am so sorry hunny, we will keep trying, I promise. All the while tears welling up in my eyes. Se is heart broken. I wish we had never discussed this with her in the first place but it just seemed like a natural thing to talk about with mommy going to the doctor so much.

I think my sisters words are starting to get to me today because I am really starting to feel like maybe this is just not meant to be.

1 comment:

MammaKoz said...

:o(

(((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))