Focusing on the future

Well today was a busy day. Jess had dance practice for her exam next Thursday - yes a National Highland Exam at age 4. Every child gets a certificate and a medal for "competing" that comes directly to them from Scotland. I worry about the stress of an exam for a 4 year old but I think that's just me - all she cares about is dancing and getting that medal.

Anyhoo, so that was from 10-11 and then off to the preschool's spring fair. We were there until 1 and then drove home real quick, fed the bottle baby kittens, changed, got Jess all dolled up and then off to K&M's for Brittany's pre-prom celebration with a quick shop at the flower shop (ouch Blue roses cost us $33 ). Jess was insistent on blue flowers for Brit's blue dress and I didn't ask when she picked the blue roses - my fault and I wasn't about to ask the girl to start pulling apart the bouquet either. So we were there until 6pm an then back home, dinner, feed kittens, Jess to bed and here I sit with my thoughts again.

When I spoke to Dr H. last Sunday I asked what could I do to improve my next cycle. I said I was planning on losing some weight and he told me okay, avoid simple carbs, cut out dairy, lower fat, quality proteins (not necessarily in that order). I had already cut caffeine out although I have been sliding on that for the past few weeks with the warmer weather some diet coke has been accidentally falling into my mouth....He told me to cut out the Evening Primrose (all cycle) and cut my B6 down to 50mg (I need to clarify that because at one point I was taking extra to extend my LP so I am not sure if that was what he was referring to or if he meant in my multi B stress tabs that keep me 'sane').

So the providia diet I was on lats year that shed the 45lbs is all of that to a T. No dairy (boohoo, bye bye cheese), specific carbs (small potato, 1/2 cup brown rice type carbs), lots of veggies and low glycemic fruits (for which the only 2 that don't send me running to the candy store are strawberries and cantaloupe). 5-6 smaller meals per day, combined to best fit each persons metabolism. The first 6 weeks I was on it I lost 23 lbs I think so that is my goal starting Monday. The only issue I will run in to this year is that tuna was a staple of my diet during that heavy weight loss and I am kinda spooked by tuna right now. There are actually govt warnings about consumption of tuna now and Randy gets downright PO'd at me when he hears me opening a can. I actually have questioned the sudden rise in FSH and shorter AF that occurred last year since it was simultaneously happening with the weight loss but that's probably my imagination (or is it?). Anyhow (man I babble a lot) this is my new goal. Shed 24 lbs over the next 6 weeks. Now I was a lot heavier last year when i started this plan but since I have gained 23 lbs since last summer(half of that due to evil clomid) I figure it is possible if I put my mind to it. 10lbs the first week (you lose weight fast) and then approx 2.5 lbs each week thereafter. That gets me back into a healthier BMI and in a MUCH better position for IVF #2 in June (staying positive that I will still get to cycle in June as it's all I can hold on to right now). I really want to fit back into my Bebe jeans that I treated myself to last August as well as all the rest of my cute clothes from last summer. (written with a bowl of Old Dutch sitting on my desk).

Okay lets see what else is keeping my mind off Monday's (hopefully fast dropping) beta numbers. Oh, I have finally come to the point where I am ready for a puppy. After losing my Gizmo, Caine AND Riker in the past year, we all have been a tad shell shocked in the dog department yet there is an emptiness that needs a wagging tail to fill. We have decided on a Golden after much discussion (Randy wanting another Rotti, Stina wanting a Bouv). We both love Goldens and just feel that with the farm, the cats and the kids(see starting to think positively again), that Goldens actually fit the best with our lifestyle. We are going to get one, make sure she is trained and then get a second 6 months to a year later. Then as Jesse gets older we will probably do agility with them (not going to show as I can't stand the politics). Now the long task of finding a reputable breeder who we can trust, who does pen-hip and who sells show quality pups. Not that I am picky or anything...

I have a garden to fill, a basement to tile and finish, the foier to tile and re-paint, 3 barns to paint, a chicken house to tin (okay that's Randy actually) and a heck of a lot of web design that needs to be caught up not to mention my business that I have been slacking on since this whole IVF thing came up 3 months ago. I am hoping that I will be less obsessed this next cycle and more focused on just life in general.

ROFL ya right but the thought must count for something, right?