Trip to ER

Okay so remember the shoulder pain? Well about 5 minutes after I posted that it was fine, my regular IVF coordinator/nurse called me back. She wanted to know everything, scale of 1 to 5 how much pain, was I bleeding, any cramping etc. Then she said I think you need to be assessed but I just need to talk to the doctor first, I'll call you back. Okay I know our regional hospital - wait times are horrendous here so I tried to talk her out of it by telling her I was sure it was a muscle strain. No such luck, she called me and told me to go in ASAP and that the obgyn knew everything and would take good care of me.

So with some major crying and fast driving, we dropped Jess off (along with my bottle fed kittens) at aunties and then off to the hospital. Drove up and there were 6 ambulances and people everywhere because of a 6 car pileup. We arrived around 430 and didn't even get to the triage nurse until almost 530. She had talked to the obgyn already and he advised to get a CBC and QUANTITATIVE hcg and call him when it was done. 645, tech finally comes to take blood. In between all of this, we saw 3 pregnant women get checked in by relatives - one brought in by ambulance (33 weeks preterm labor) and another in a wheelchair whose husband was literally flying down the hallway to get to the elevator at lightening speed and we can hear the OBGYN staff and pediatrician paged constantly (stat to L&D, stat to L&D). We knew we were doomed LOL. 930 I am getting upset so finally ask if we have been forgotten (we are getting lapped by other people in the ER waiting room (yes we never got past those big glass doors), in and out, in and out - OMG you're still here? people). The new triage nurse (#2 since we've been there) says oh, well they ran the wrong blood test so we are re-running everything in the lab now. I said let me guess, you ran an qualitative hcg? Yes, sorry you were supposed to be updated. *sigh*, this is why I love my private health care. FF again to 1045. Off to the 3rd triage nurse to ask what's going on now. She looked at me and said YES, what can I help you with (rude witch) and I said look, we have been here since 430(eyes welling with tears). Oh are you here for Dr. M? Yesss. Oh he called us about 30 minutes ago, someone was supposed to update you. He is stuck in L&D and he figured he would be down within 30-45 minutes - that was 30 minutes ago. *sigh*, thanks for the update.

This whole time we are anxiously watching doctors and nurses do their thing..in and out and every time a new doctor would appear we would get excited. Do you think that's him Randy? Nah too young, nah too mean LOL. We saw this doctor when he came down and knew it was him - then we watched all the hustle and bustle when they couldn't find my chart. I am not knocking the doctor - labor and delivery does take priority (if I was in labor I would hope it did) but the rest of the hospital staff can kiss my butt. What a joke. One nurse said 'did she even go through admissions?I haven't seen her chart all night' and I heard so I stood up, held up the wristbands and shook them through the glass. Idiots.

Okay so now you've made it through all that unnecessary gibberish (I talk a lot when I am tired can you tell?) finally the consult. Oh there are no rooms. ROFL. He was like fine I will take bed #2. This doctor is actually super sweet and very apologetic. He knew my entire history because my clinic had filled him in (thank goodness that part was done). Beta was 271 (Monday was 106). We went through everyday since I first tested + on the HPT. He also felt that embie #1 implanted and miscarried (or chemical) and then embie#2 just didn't implant until late and now (wherever it is) is dividing as it should. the problem is we don't know - is it viable and barely hanging in on my minimal lining, is it a strong chemical pg or is it viable but ectopic. Inquiring minds want to know and we have NO answers. He did a pelvic exam and there was no pain, my cervix is long and closed ("perfect for this stage of pg") and my bloodwork all came back "excellent". I think it was my hemoglobin he checked and it was 138 - he said if there was any internal bleeding that number would have been very low. Shoulder pain is a muscle strain (which I knew from sitting in an uncomfortable chair for 6+ hours as my whole left shoulder, elbow and forearm hurt) so we aren't at a critical stage yet. He is going to take care of me while my RE is gone, that way I don't have to drive back and forth 2 hrs each way. He also gave me standing HCG tests at the hospital so no more waiting 7 hours - he will have them within just a couple. If and when my beta keeps doubling, then hopefully by Tuesday or Wednesday he will be able to get me in to his office and do an ultrasound. By that time they will be able to see something in my uterus and if they can't, well then we have worries. We talked about not doing the metho shot which he agreed to but only as long as if the ectopic is not in the section of the tube that is also in the uterus. If he does surgery there I could have permanent damage and never be able to carry full term he said in which case he would rather do the shot. My doctor said he would still operate so that is my only worry but I will cross that bridge if and when I need to.

So now we wait some more. Unless I suddenly have pain or bleeding I am to do nothing but pretend I am pregnant. The limbo continues....

Okay I caved and called the clinic

I just talked to Monica and she said it is more in the collar bone area so I am okay. She still wanted to tell Dr Spence but I said I am not worried, please don't bother him (I hate being a pest). My left shoulder KILLS but I am pretty certain it is a muscle pull.

Other than that, had a very dark HPT this afternoon. It sucks not to be happy over 2 lines.

Ouchie

Mid-shower this morning I had sudden pain in my left shoulder, on my back. I know shoulder pain can be a sign of an ectopic rupture but I was under the assumption it was more to the front of your shoulder and the right side. I just want to be safe but now I am worried.

I think it is a muscle pain but I can't be sure. Going to ride it out and see how the day goes before calling and being a pest.

Worst night ever

I woke up at 330 to feed the baby kittens and all of the sudden I was sick. Here I am laying on the tile floor of the room trying to bottle feed these week old kittens. I was so nauseous, barely made it to the bathroom. I don't know if it is a flu big or what - there was no food in my stomach so I don't think it was food poisoning. I felt like my stomach was trying to turn inside out and I ended up taking gravol which was STUPID because it is not safe during pregnancy (at the time I was so out of it that it never crossed my mind). It can't be m/s this soon, especially with a beta of only 106. All that was in my tummy was my vitamins and supplements that I always take right before bed (note to self - gross, never take vitamins on a empty stomach again).

Okay must jot all this down...

04/16 Monday=12
04/18 Weds=19
04/20 Friday=30
04/23 Monday=106
04/26 Thursday=???

After the beta of 19 I was told to stop my meds. I had my last prog mid afternoon Weds. Thursday I was spotting all day and that turn into a light AF then Friday and Saturday were very heavy. Sunday it pretty much stopped until about 3am when I woke up cramping and major heavy AF and then slowed again yesterday morning. I actually was sure that was me miscarrying because it was really heavy and not, um, normal at all.

The drama continues

You guessed it, beta went up to 106. Most likely an ectopic pg but nothing we can do until the numbers rise to at least 1500. So I go for a repeat Thursday and then more waiting. There is a very VERY slim chance of a viable pregnancy but we are not to get our hopes up (and I have lost this baby like 3 times this week and can't handle it again). Theory being both embies implanted, one miscarried and the other little guy is tough and trying to stick around. But that is so very unlikely.

So literally we now wait. And I thought the 2ww sucked...

Got my next protocol

We talked to Dr Hudson today. Barring complications from this IVF (waiting for betas to drop he is still concerned I have an ectopic pg going on), I will cycle again in June. He is changing my protocol to an antagonist protocol with letrozole added. As he looked through my first IVF he was happy with my response - much better response than what he thought but where he was disappointed was in quantity of eggs retrieved as well as the inconsistent growth. He feels this protocol will help with all of that. The letrozole helps with egg quality and quantity when accompanied with the injects (from the little bit I have read since we talked today). I asked about the estrogen priming but he really doesn't feel that is necessary for me since my E2 rose nicely and my endometrium was perfect throughout. The way he explained the new protocol really got us both excited, wish I could re-write it here LOL.

Praying for dropping beta numbers tomorrow. I don't want to go through a lap and D&C without my doctor which is the next step if the beta goes up. He is gone Tuesday for 3 weeks and well, I just don't trust anyone else (and Dr Spence doesn't do surgeries).

Hmm

Tami called while we were shopping at SS tonight. She said I am so sorry your numbers went down. Asked whether I had gone off my meds etc and just confirmed my 1:15pm appt with Dr h. on Sunday. Just before she hung up I asked what were my numbers and she said oh 30. What??? I said but they went up and she had to go back and double check that I was right. She said well we need to worry now about an ectopic (slow rising numbers are common) but she would talk to Dr. Hudson and they would call me back or I could discuss it Sunday.

I just want this to be over with..why must we suffer through this loss any longer? :(